Vlog_352: Behind the Freakshow 

What’s up my Kaz Krew! It's your favorite colonial! I’m here to show you all the hidden things you miss on the Varkh core worlds. This week: We’re going behind the scenes of one of the most famous traveling shows in all of the galaxy. The Aurumn Menagerie. 

I’m going to be showing you all my favorite parts to see whenever I can spare the time. As well as a look at one of their newest exhibits. The Memoryless Prophet. 

And like always, smash that like button and subscribe to see updates when they come out.

[Royalty free music plays, along with a timelapse of Kaz walking up to the Menagerie itself, the crowd is massive and the line to enter the menagerie itself is looping around itself. Kaz stands in front of the entire line ignoring them entirely.]

We’re now out in front of the menagerie and I gotta say, this place somehow gets even more impressive every time I come here. But they always manage to keep it familiar. Come on, let's take a look inside.

[We follow Kaz into a museum dedicated to the menagerie, he points to a dilapidated looking sign behind a glass case]

This is actually the first marquee they used when the Menagerie first started, millenia ago. Back then the exhibits weren't interactive like they are today, you could only come and look at the different species. Which sounds dreadful…

[Kaz passes beyond the rest of the museum and goes straight through the entrance flaps. Beyond are dozens of spaces each with different labels, we head to the 

The layout of the Menagerie has been perfected over the years, what used to be a maze is now a carefully curated path designed to maximize entertainment. And here is our guide here

[Kaz approaches a garishly dressed man, his elongated mustache stretches beyond his shoulders, and his floppy hat gives a sense that he is not to be taken seriously]

This is Ringmaster Tyzane Vell, the curator of the menagerie. He's going to be giving us access to the VIP area and he’s gonna tell us about the history of the Menagerie while we enjoy a cup of tea from within the VIP lounge.

[Cut to Kaz and Ringmaster Tyzane Vell sitting at a library like setting an empty table between them]

Kaz: So, Tyzane Vell, can you give us a bit of the history of the Menagerie itself?

Tyzane: Well the Menagerie was founded about 40,000 years ago. Back then we just had simple exhibits where the subjects would simply sit in a chair, allowing colonials to gawk at them.

Kaz: So, what changed?

Tyzane: The audience changed. People stopped coming to see the types of exhibits they had seen a hundred times before. And then about 3,000 years ago we had some issues with disease amongst the exhibits.

Kaz: Disease?

Tyzane: Oh it had been eradicated, but we lost about 70% of our exhibits. This forced us to evolve. We decided to be more humane and put the exhibits in their more natural habitats.

Kaz: Thats good.

Tyzane: I think so as well. You can tell the exhibits are happier.

[A massive bear-like humanoid walks into frame wearing a maids outfit, she is holding a tray of steaming tea. It is set down and she begins to pour out two cups]

Tyzane: Ah, and here is one of our oldest recurring exhibits. The Maiden Gravari. Back when the menagerie first started, this was one of the first ones that was made. The founders wanted to bring the Gravari back from their home planet on Verdanth. 

Kaz: This tea is delicious

[We follow Kaz as he enters a brightly colored area, up ahead is an enclosed area surrounded by several pedestals with glowing buttons. Kaz stands before the enclosed area, a stage set up with various props like chairs and bookshelves]

This is the interactive zone. It’s normally for kids but they have two things I always like to visit. First is the Synths Paradox, this is a synthetic being. You can change its emotions with the press of a button. Always fun to mess with! Watch this! I can make it stressed, all you gotta do is press the black button.

[Within the enclosed area appears a clockwork being enclosed in a clear crystalline shell within it are swirling colored mists. Kaz begins pressing buttons, with each press the being in the center acts out a different emotion, and the mists change to a different color]

Look how it acts! Hah! That's hilarious. Here’s anger. Woah the mists turned red, and it smashed that chair. Luckily in this case it looks pretty upset. Now here's scared. He turns yellow! It's got a literal yellow belly! It’s always important to leave it on Green. That way it’s always happy. Otherwise it gets too aggressive. 

[Kaz presses the green button as the mists turn green and the being sits in the center seemingly chuckling behind the soundproof walls. A new chair is raised up from the floor of the enclosure]

Next up is the Mycos Maze. It's this really cool creature that is part fungus and part ooze, the signs say that it can see but the coolest part is you can watch it feed.

[Kaz stands before a maze built into the wall, with a luminescent fungal growth in the center]

If you look close you can see they offer snacks for it. All you gotta do is just put the feed at the designated spots and then watch.

[The growth in the centre begins to move towards the food port, moving slowly as the camera pans around and reveals that it is pressed between two sheets of glass]

Look at it! Isn’t that just the coolest? And the more you feed it the bigger it grows. That's why they only allow a couple feedings a day of small objects. Don't want this guy getting too big! Next up is the Exhibit displays and the petting zoo.

[We pass through several exhibits, stopping at a large bovine being seated in the middle of a grassland setting]

So these are some of the weird things that live out on the galaxy. Theres a Khi, they are like buffalo, looks like he’s bored though. Lets check out the Petting Zoo.  

[A small otter like being in a petting zoo style enclosure along with a small rabbit like being with elongated ears. Kaz walks backwards looking at the camera]

This is one thing you really gotta see, or feel! These guys are so soft! I want a pillow made out of this stuff!

Alright, next up is the rock monster! These guys normally love working in the mines, but this one is like a game, and it's a game you definitely are going to want to play

[We show a rock like being that sits amidst a sunken pit. Around the edge of the pit are stacks of stones, allowing visitors to throw rocks at the being in the center]

Watch this, bet I can peg it from this far away. Doink! Bounced right off. Here, take a couple, it's super fun!

[Kaz walks through a doorway and we see an enormous elephantine being sitting before a table with an orb of crystal a small bit of drool coming out of the corner of her mouth]

Alright, last up is the Memoryless Prophet, this is an Ossari. They are known for their impressive memories. Lucky for us, we’ve got Ringmaster Tyzane with us to give us a full demonstration.

Tyzane: Alright! Thank you for the set up Kaz! Oh Prophet! Can you tell us what will happen five minutes from now?

Memoryless Prophet: Great… things… will… happen

Kaz: Hah! In this place everything is great! 

[Kaz is standing out in front of the Menagerie entrance as he completes his outro]

So that’s the Aurumn Menagerie! We had an awesome day, we learned the history of the Menagerie itself. We saw the interactive zone, and the petting zoo. But I think the highlight was that Memoryless Prophet, she was hilarious.

As always, be sure to Like and Subscribe. 

Be sure to check out next week when we’re trying the food at the Sanguine Pits