Ch 9 - Air Force None

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After Allison was finished whining about Michelle’s advances, she turned to Emilia, who was peeling off what was left of her boots.

Allison paused upon seeing Emilia. “Well, I was going to ask ‘what’s next’, but since it’s not every day I see someone peeling off pieces of their boots, I really don’t know how to approach this situation”.

“Then don’t and follow this piece of advice: don’t activate foot-based jet thrusters while wearing shoes. It slows down your take-off and destroys the shoes. Those were my favorite pair too”.

“As much as I’d like to take that into consideration, it doesn’t exactly apply to me and, no offense, but hopefully never will. Though, charred boots is most certainly better than the alternative. So, whatcha gonna do about shoes”? Allison asked with concern.

Emilia laughed. “I have a locker around here with some clothes. This is the airfield, and we do have flight gear here.”

Allison nodded, and her eyes widened as she thought of a question “It’s not duckie-themed, is it”?

“Not yet”! Emilia gave a rather excited answer as if the possibility never occurred to her. “You’re gonna help right”? She slowly approached Allison with a hopeful expression on her face.

Allison stared at the hopeful-looking Emilia. Between the combination of her love of ducks, the arm-gun, that expression, and the fact that she nearly died 15 minutes ago, Allison found it nearly impossible to decline. She did, however, know a good bargaining chip when it fell into her hands “fine, I’ll help, IF you behave yourself, and if you keep as much of the rest of the team’s antics from hurting me… as possible” she sighed.

“So, all I have to do is be a good girl and be your bodyguard? You got yourself a deal”! Emilia jumped up and down like an excited schoolgirl. She then proceeded to go to a locker and put on another pair of boots. She then preemptively answered Allison’s question before Allison had a chance to ask. “Oh, right, next is flight evaluations. You did say you can pilot an aircraft, right”?

Allison weakly muttered. “Yeah, sorta… I think. Not much more than a single-engine propeller driven thing though”.

Michelle could be heard approaching from behind “Oh, this is gonna be good…” she said with a snicker.

“I don’t like the sound of that…” Allison whined.

“Well, the aircraft you’re going to be testing in, is that…” Michelle said as she pointed towards the open back of the hangar.

Allison heaved a sigh of relief as there was a single-engine prop plane sitting near the back of the hangar.

Michelle grinned “Oh no, not that old thing, the thing in the other hangar over there…”

“Huh”? Allison took a closer look and realized that there was a set of open doors at the back of the hangar, leading to another open hangar. She walked out of the hangar towards the other hangar nervously. “What the hell is that”?! Allison froze with her mouth agape as she stared at the enormous aircraft before her. It was the size of at least 2 aircraft carriers, easily surpassing 400 ft. (121 m) in length, completely filling her field of view.

“That is the R.S.S. Valhalla. It’s a bit of an experimental airship. As you’ve noticed, it doesn’t exactly have wings, and no, it’s not a single engine craft”. This time it was Mark who spoke, as Allison wondered where the hell he came from.  “Don’t worry, you won’t be flying that. Even we’re not crazy enough to have evaluations in an experimental craft. You’ll be flying one of those instead” Mark nodded and pointed in a direction just slightly beside the Valhalla. “That’s an SF-38”.

“WHAT?! You expect me to fly something I’ve never even heard of?! Seriously, where do you people get these things” Allison screamed.

Emilia laughed heartily “Well, we are a force of special secret agents working for a mysterious organization. Do I really need to explain more”?

“So, you guys developed it? Makes sense I guess” Allison muttered

“Exactly. As a matter of fact, Mark and I had a lot to do with the weapons and on-board systems. We can guide you through pretty much everything about it. That giant flying fortress on the other hand… is a much different story” Emilia replied.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I still have to fly something I’ve never heard of! I could blow something up, or die…or…who knows what else” Allison protested.

Emilia casually answered back, “No, I’m pretty sure those are about the only 2 bad things that happen with planes, people die, and/or something blows up. I mean, you could fuck up really bad and do both of those things. In any case, it’s a 2 seater plane and the co-pilot can take full control if something goes stupid. So, if you black out, or piss yourself…”

“Who the hell would piss themselves?!” Allison’s disbelieving and somewhat angry question could be heard across a large portion of the airfield.

“Well, Javon apparently did…” Michelle quietly muttered.

“You’re fucking kidding…” Allison said as she turned to Michelle.

“No, I’m not. There’s a video taken in the plane, and the bottom of his flight suit started getting… well… enough about that. Piss happens. Anyways, Emilia can accompany you, or I can. I suggest I do so since Emilia already destroyed a pair of boots today”.

“Fine, you can do the evaluation, but if you do anything weird, I’ll find the eject button and catapult you out” Allison warned Michelle.

“If you do that, you’ll automatically fail, be ejected from the cockpit as well, and even in the event that you override the double eject, you’ll probably have no idea what you’re actually doing, or what it is you’re supposed to do,” Michelle said with a mischievous grin.

“EMILIA! YOU’RE COMING WITH ME!!!!” Allison shouted.

Emilia merely shook her head. “Nope. For some reason, my boots are here, but my flight suit isn’t, and that’s something you’re definitely going to need when in one of those things. Michelle is already wearing hers, and you still need to get changed. Either way, I can’t come with you. Sorry,” Emilia giggled. “I’ll be on the radio. Try not to freak out too much, ok”?

A few minutes later, Allison was changed and she helped the tiny Michelle board the jet. ”Why thank you kind lady” Michelle giggled.

“Yeah, yeah… I’m not gonna have to do a barrel roll am I”? Allison grumbled.

“Oh, you bet your sweet ass you are”! Michelle laughed as she hopped into the co-pilot’s seat.

After the preflight checks were completed, the aircraft pulled slowly to the runway. This part was similar to the aircraft Allison had experience with.  Mark’s voice could be heard over the radio. “All other traffic has been cleared out of the surrounding airspace. Targets are set. Sky-kitty, you are clear for takeoff.”

Allison raised an eyebrow. “Who the fuck is Sky-kitty”?

“Me” Michelle answered. “Javon is ‘Lemonade’, I’m not explaining that one. Mark is ‘cyber phoenix’, and as for the rest, I’ll let them tell you on their own. David’s is ‘crashed n’ bailed’ cuz he legitimately can’t fly. We tried training him, but he’s wrecked 4 different aircraft”.

The engine could be heard growing louder behind them as the jet started to move down the runway. Michelle glanced at various controls, checking the status of the craft and Allison’s take-off skills.

Emilia’s voice came over the radio “By the way, my name has nothing to do with ducks…it’d be lame since they already fly. My codename is ‘muffin button’. Obviously it’s related to the fact that I’m always snacking. I usually get bitched at for it while flying though”.

The aircraft began its ascent during the conversation and Allison received instructions from Michelle. Mostly steering and control checks. ‘Fly here’, ‘go to altitude [insert number here], ‘do a barrel roll’.

Allison groaned on the last one “You really had to make me do it… didn’t you”?

“I said you were. Now I’m switching controls over. You will have access to the weapons and I’ll take over the actual flying. After this, I’ll give you control of both for the cumulative test”. Michelle notified Allison as the barrel roll was completed.

“Ok, the secondary training weapons are online. Fire at targets 1 and 3. Use your best judgement on when to do so”.

Allison did as instructed, firing 2 small missiles at 2 unmanned drones, blasting them to pieces.

“Not bad. I’m pulling around, hit targets 2, 4, and 5. Use the laser rifle on at least 2 of them”.

Seconds later, the targets were destroyed and Michelle gave flight control back over to Allison. “Ok, this time, take out targets 1, and 6-10”.

“Wait, wasn’t Target 1 already destroyed? Are there more?” Allison questioned.

“Uhm, what? SHIT! Mark, what the hell is going on”? Michelle shouted over the radio.

“It’s one of Omega’s aircraft. They ignored the warning apparently. It seems to be an unmanned drone. It’s heading straight into the airspace. I’ll see if I can get it to land” Mark replied over the radio.

“Roger that. We’ll keep an eye on it until you do”. Michelle nodded and checked the radar. The drone seemed to be simply flying around the airspace. It wasn’t a particular issue as long as it was avoided. But it wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place.

Over the radio, another voice could be heard, one that she hadn’t heard before “This is air-traffic control. Why did you launch an extra drone during an Lambda evaluation? You should’ve at least requested authorization”.

“This is Mark to air traffic control, I didn’t launch that drone. I’ve been at airfield 4 for the last hour and a half. You know damn well I didn’t send that out. I’m trying to get it down now” Mark replied.

“The launch manifest says that it was you who did it. Security clearance and all. Even the protocols that are running the drone are like yours. Even if you’re not lying, it’s all your shit man” the voice from air traffic control replied.

Mark protested. “That’s an Omega drone. You can check the on-board systems and tell as much

“What the shit is going on here?! Somethings wrong. Even if the code is similar to mine, I can’t bring it down. It’s… What the hell is happening to my system?!” Mark shouted as his console started to smoke and ceased to function.

Back up in the air, the targets, except for target 1 (the imposing drone) were all destroyed. “OK, now what? Are we done here?” Allison asked.

“Yeah, we are. We should be able to….”

Allison, and an ominous beeping noise, interrupted Michele. “Uhm, Michelle, what’s that beeping noise? It sounds like a warning…”

“Oh, that’s a lock warning. It means that something has locked onto you, and is probably about to fire”.

“Oh, ok, well if that’s all… WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!” Allison shouted as she glanced at the radar and targeting systems. A woman’s voice, likely the aircraft warning system could be heard.

<<Enemy lock confirmed. Auto-engaging counter-attack procedures. Switching to primary weaponry>>

“What the fuck” Allison muttered.

“You’re just having an awful time in evaluations. Suck it up buttercup or we might actually die here. You have flight and combat control, I’ll assist if needed, but stay calm. Do well here and you can get some nice evaluation points”. Michelle switched on the radio “Mark, any progress on getting that thing to land? It’s apparently locked onto us. The jet has already switched to live combat mode. Who is responsible for setting auto-counter as a thing”?

Emilia replied “Oh, that design change was mine. Safety third, remember? That drone kinda killed Mark’s computer as he tried to get it to land. Things aren’t looking good here. It’ll be about 2 minutes before anyone can actually be airborne to assist”.

“Well shit! Guess we’re on our own for 2 minutes then. I don’t think we’ll have the leisure to wait though. Actually, who would even be able to help”?

Emilia replied “Me, duh”l

Michelle ignored Emilia and spoke to Allison. “You heard the situation. We gotta either wait 2 minutes for backup or take that thing out. Seeing as it appears to be setting up to fire on us, guess we’re fighting”.

“How are you so calm? What if it fires on us”? Another warning went off in the cockpit.

<<Inbound enemy projectile. Take evasive maneuvers. Auto-deploying chaff>>

The aircraft automatically released something similar to a firework and an explosion could be noticed from behind the aircraft. No damage was taken. Michelle gave instructions to Allison. “Speed up and try to make some distance. If possible, circle back behind the thing. I don’t think this thing has rear firing weapons”.

Allison did as she was told and somehow managed to increase the distance while evading 2 more missiles. All of this happened in the span of 37 seconds, still leaving nearly a minute and a half of time until aircraft-based help would arrive.

Emilia could be heard over the radio “The base is arming part of its defense system. Given that the drone set you as a target and has Mark’s code in it, or so we’re told, we can’t exactly assume that those are going to be friendly guns.”

“FUCK! The damn base is trying to kill me now? Can’t we just eject?” Allison shouted.

“Not a good idea. We’ll most assuredly be shot in the air as we try to land. I’ll take over flying, you handle… FUCKING FUCK ” Michelle roared.

“What’s going on?! And language…”

“Now, really… My control system was just disabled and you’re complaining about language?” Michelle groaned.

“What do you mean your control system was disabled”?

“It means you’re on your own and I can’t help you”

“GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING SHITTING ME. SHITTING ME!!!”

Michelle grinned. “And you kiss your mother with that mouth”?

“Shut it!”

“In either case, looks like my life is in your hands now. If we survive, well, you pass. If you fail… well, I don’t think I need to explain”.

Allison sighed as she reconfirmed the drone’s position. “Hang on tight Michelle, I’m gonna find out how many G’s I can take”.

“I can take 5.3. Try not to pass out though, I can’t take over for you anymore” Michelle answered calmly.

Allison pulled hard on the controls and made a sharp arc. She could feel the blood rushing to her feet as she swung the plane around, now facing the drone. More missile warnings could be heard as 1 was fired from the front of the drone, and another 3 were fired from behind from the base. Allison did a barrel roll just before the drone’s missile would’ve hit. It flew straight into another missile, detonating it and one other. Allison hit the afterburners and did another sharp turn to try and avoid the remaining missile and the drone which she was now on a collision course with. She avoided both by mere inches and somehow, although hardly, managed to remain conscious. The missile managed to take care of the drone as their aircraft shook from the explosion.

“Michelle, if I fire missiles, they aren’t the kind with such a large explosive range that we’ll get hurt…right?”

“Nah, this craft is still meant for training. Though it’s armed with live ammo, its weapons and missiles shouldn’t do that kind of damage”.

“Ok, so, is it ok if I fire on the base since they are apparently trying to shoot us down”?

“Try to limit casualties. We’ll sort out the rest later” Michelle replied, still as calm as before.

“Roger that. Then I’m engaging…” Allison swung around with yet another sharp turn, making both her and Michelle more than slightly uncomfortable due to gravitational pulls. She aligned herself just above the trees in the surrounding area and swiftly heard yet another warning, this time for her low altitude. She spotted and locked onto 5 defense emplacements, firing 4 missiles in total.

Three of the missiles hit their targets, disabling the emplacements. The fourth was shot down on approach. Allison was left with no primary missiles and switched to secondary weaponry, the training missiles. She fired again as she completed her pass, using the last 2 she had remaining. One hit its target and didn’t do enough damage to disable the emplacement, the other was shot down.

“Not bad. Not bad at all. We still have a laser rifle on this thing, but I don’t think we’d be able to justify more damage. Stay low, and on the side where you did the most damage. We should be able to bring this thing down safely enough” Michelle suggested.

Allison did as suggested, and attempted to turn back towards the airfield. Much to their dismay, 3 fighters had been deployed and were heading straight for them. Michelle grumbled from behind “Well shit. I got nothing for this. Guess it’s been fun”.

“Rule number 1: DON’T DIE”! Allison shouted. She picked up speed and switched weapons to the laser rifle. Then she got on the radio “Look, I’m trying to have evaluations here. As you can see, I’m having a bad time. After all this bullshit, I just want to land. Don’t make me pull this trigger damnit”!

One of the three fighters broke off from the formation and appeared to be leaving the situation. The other 2 continued ahead as Allison once again heard the ‘weapon lock’ warning. She screamed at the top of her lungs while flying straight ahead and aiming at one of the approaching aircraft. She pulled the trigger, taking out a wing of the enemy and sending the plain into a tailspin. The pilot ejected as the remaining enemy opened fire, hitting the right wing of her jet.

They shook violently from the impact and damage, yet still managed to stay airborne. Allison tried desperately to make it to a runway, only to realize that the other aircraft that pulled away before was reentering combat. She received yet another ‘weapon lock’ warning.

“This is too much” she cried as the crippled aircraft descended.

“Michelle is right, you really do need to learn how to turn off the comm-links. Allied reinforcements inbound” Emilia loudly declared. 

Mark’s voice could be heard on the radio immediately afterward “Cyber-phoenix and Muffin-Button have deployed. This is your only warning. Cease hostilities against the Lambda aircraft or we WILL engage”.

A voice unknown to Emilia echoed over the radio. “Let’s not turn this into a rain of blood. We’re breaking off now. You do the same or the rest of the transport division will be scrambled”.

Mark answered. “That’s fine. We’ll be escorting our trainee down now. I suggest you return to airfield 2, We will be going back to airfield 4. It’ll be obvious if either of us tries anything”.

“Roger that Cyber-phoenix. Over and out” the anonymous voice replied. The 2 remaining fighters changed direction and flew off for what Allison presumed to be another section of the base. Allison and Michelle were escorted back to the ground by Emilia and Mark, who each had their own fighters.

Upon landing, Allison jumped out and nearly kissed the ground while Michelle just looked on in a stupor. Michelle spoke, not gonna lie, didn’t expect to survive that”.

“Rule number 1, right? I fail if I fuck that one up”. Allison replied.

“Well, you aren’t wrong. You did well. I’m proud and glad. If you’d have given up like I did, then neither of us would be here now."

Well, I wanna live too ya know” Allison muttered.

Mark and Emilia came out of the hangar and waved. Emilia grinned “That was close and impressive as fuck. Not gonna lie, you are one ballsy bitch!”

“I don’t think ‘bitch’ and ‘ballsy’ should be used to describe the same person in the same sentence” Allison replied.

“Valid point. Oh. So, I think we’re gonna have a bit of a problem…” Emilia muttered.

“What is it? I’ve had enough of the issues today, really I have…” Allison groaned.

This time it was Michelle who answered “Well, the problem is… those guys…” Michelle said calmly as she raised her hands.

Allison looked around, they were surrounded by armed troops, all of which had them at gun point. A single round was fired near Emilia’s feet, and the familiar micro EMP that Conrad used one day before once again brought Emilia to her knees. One of the soldiers shouted:

“Emilia Jenovall, Mark Stonewall, Michelle Mason, and Allison Thorne of Squad Lambda, you are all hereby under arrest for destruction of property, unauthorized use of equipment, reckless endangerment, and in the case of Emilia Jenoval, 1 count of littering”. The soldier finished his sentence as he held up the charred fragments of Emilia’s boots.

“Ok, that last one isn’t even called for…” Emilia groaned.

“Hey, aside from the littering, Emilia didn’t actually do anything! I fired the missiles and blew stuff up! What the hell are they getting in trouble for? Also, it was an agency drone that showed up in what should’ve been restricted airspace!” Allison shouted at the soldier who was still holding the charred boot pieces.

“Everything associated with the launch of the drone has Stonewall’s credentials as its origin. He’ll be held under house arrest until the investigation is completed. Emilia was immobilized since she is a bio-weapon. We can let her go of she just puts her stuff in the garbage. As for you and Mason, you 2 should be in quite the trouble”.

Now it was Michelle who spoke up “I was evaluating Allison’s flight capabilities when all that happened. I couldn’t even bring her down because my control system was somehow disabled. If you don’t believe me, check the jet. Mark can access the logs and prove that much at least. Other than that, I take responsibility for the damages. She counterattacked on my instructions!”

“Uhm, actually, I’m the one who brought her in. I’m supposed to be responsible for these evaluations. In this case, we do share the blame Michelle” Emilia muttered from her position on the ground.

“Either way, there’s a lot of odd stuff going on here. I really hope you are investigating this!” Allison growled.

“We are, and that is why you haven’t been executed. You remember you contract I’m sure” the soldier replied. “We’re being lenient here because so many things have gone wrong. Even for team lambda, this is far beyond even the highest level of cluster-fuck, though I have to say, that was some fucking badass flying you did! Now, come along peacefully, please. We don’t wanna have to use force here”.

Michelle, Mark, and Allison all complied and were cuffed and led into a large, unmarked black truck. Emilia was carried into the truck as she didn’t really have an option of whether she wanted to cooperate or not.

Michelle filled out Allison’s evaluation report from a holding cell since Emilia couldn’t fill one out in her disabled state. Her arms and legs couldn’t be switched out either since they were all in Mark’s lab, which was under lockdown. Mark was also in custody.

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